Part of it is that I am really in my Lent -I am in the desert. And my mind is very much on the journey to Jerusalem that is coming. (That would be the metaphorical one - although if someone said I could go to Jerusalem, I would be on the next plane, without a moment's hesitation.)
Anyway, as Lent goes, I am in the desert. That's fine - it is where I need to be. I am reminded of Hosea 2:16 - "But look, I am going to seduce her and lead her into the desert and speak to her heart." That of course brings to mind, Jeremiah 20:7, "You seduced me Lord, and I let myself be seduced..."
All this seduction, the desert, the silence... Such are the ways of Lent. I carry on, so far, I do not hear the speaking to my heart. I have no doubt however, it will come.
I was feeling this way this past week. But on Wed. in our Lectio group, we prayed with Psalm 63:5-8. My word was/is "cling" and now I am trying to see what I am clinging to. I want to cling to God, but often I cling to my own inadequacy. Tonight I was clinging to my unfashionable feeling about myself. Let go, let go.
ReplyDeleteYes, definitely Lent.
ReplyDeleteI do not hear the speaking to my heart, either, but I do wonder sometimes if I am deaf to it.
ReplyDeleteI've felt strangely absent lately. I haven't yet gotten to a point where I still feel relatively centered in all this running around. I'm not sure where I am. Do you have any tips to re-focus?
Fran, you may not 'hear' the speaking to your heart, but somehow your heart knows it is called to be seduced in the desert... Isn't this most of it done already? Your being there in the desert, ready and willing to be seduced? What a beautiful place to be in!
ReplyDeleteGodde must love you very very much!!!
Blessings.